Hiding

My sister posted recently on her blog ("Working on it"  See sidebar for link) a remark about how people hide behind a smile.  I have to admit that I do that a lot.  Does everyone?  Are we lying with our smiles?  I have been taught to put a good foot forward.  I have been told that a smile makes you prettier.  Keep a stiff upper lip (what the heck does that mean?).  Buck up.  Suck it up.  So I do.  I know I have a lot to hide, but never thought much that other people were doing the same.  What is going on behind your smile?  Are all those smiles hiding pain and secrets like mine does? 

So what is better?  Do we let our expressions mirror our feelings?  That would not be good either.  I can't walk around and display my every feeling on my face.  That would not be a good thing.  It would wear everyone out, and I would look like a train wreck!  But I also want to be honest.  I don't like to think that my smile is a lie!

I have arrived at this conclusion after a few days of mulling it around in the space between my ears.  I have to start the day with a smile.  I have to buck up.  The smile is not so much about my circumstance, or my feelings.  It is about my joy.  Not happiness, joy.  I have joy regardless of my circumstance.  So my smile is not a lie.  It is a choice.  I chose to smile regardless of my circumstance.  If you dig a little deeper, there is a lot more going on, of course, than what the smile might tell you.  And maybe if we are good enough friends, I can share some of it with you.  I chose to smile because I have joy in my heart from the peace my Savior has provided.  I MIGHT have a lot of embarrasing problems that I keep a secret, well, cuz they are ridiculous and embarrasing!  But I know that my problems are here and now.  God is more than big enough to fix them.  Maybe He will chose to fix them, or maybe I will just have to live with them.  But I have a reward waiting.  Bigger and better than my problems.  So I will smile.  I will be joyful.