Pain

March is here.  Spring is just around the corner.  As much as I love winter, I am ready for this one to end.  Although I would not mind one more snow fall.  I know that makes me very unpopular in Tulsa! 

I have had some ideas scrolling through my head lately.   Mostly I have been wondering about the pain that we are all hiding.  Don't we all have something painful that shaped us and causes us to behave a certain way? We all deal with it differently.  Some of us eat, do drugs, abuse alcohol, lie, steal or do just ridiculous unrelated things to mask our pain caused by abuse, cruelty, depravation or neglect.  Mostly, for me it is eating.  So when you look at me, please, realize I am more than a fat girl.  I am a soul, with pain.  I probably won't share any or much of it with you.  It is too personal and or embarrasing.  So don't make fun of overweight people.  It is probably more than just poor eating habits.  When you are dealing with a control freak, try to be patient and imagine what sort of pain has led them to this behavior.  He or she is probably desperatly trying to hold his/her world together with some small freakishly odd measure of control.

Lucky people realize what they are doing.  They try to find a way to be healthy and function.  I try to control my eating with my new habit, working out at the gym.  But the stuff that makes me medicate with food is still in there.  Needling me.  What needles you?  You don't have to tell me.  Just think about it, and try to be be kinder to the people around you.  Aren't we all just the walking wounded?