My last post was about Summer. Well, it is still Summer. I just can't seem to summon any sort of enthusiasm about it any more. I am so ready for September, October and November. Those are my favorite months of the year.
School starts tomorrow. The first day, of the last year of Jacob's Tulsa Public Schools education. Seems like it was just a few years ago that I was holding his hand on the way into Kindergarten at Hoover. Time flies. He is mostly grown up now. Just by appearances he is fully grown. But I know he still has some growing to do. He will be 18 in just a little over a month. That will be the end of an era for me as a mom. I have been trying to let go of some of my control. But I still want to be the boss of everything. Such a struggle for me. I picked out his clothes for the first day of Kindergarten. Now there is so little that I choose for him.
I wonder if he would let me choose his outfit for tomorrow? Ha! I wonder if he would be embarrassed that I called it an "outfit". No doubt, it will be t-shirt and shorts. Poor kid. His bad mom did not order him any new school shoes yet. You would think after 18 years, I could get that right for his Senior year! Starting the senior year Holy is one thing but with holey shoes is quite another. I guess he will survive.
I am feeling sadder about it than I thought I would. I am not one to get too sentimental about stuff like this. But he is my one and only child. This will be our last year like this. With me in charge. Am I really moping about him growing up, or about losing someone I could control?
3 comments:
I am ready for cooler weather this year. Not the cold stuff! Just the cooler stuff.
How is it that Jacob is all but grown?
I don't know Deb, 18 years slipped right through my fingers. You tell me. You have been down this road twice!
I think I might be beginning to understand what it means to let go at some distant point in the far distant future, BUT I only have a clue at the beginning part. I am lost what I will do next. How can I come to terms with both of my babies grown?
I still don't like my empty nest!
They are not impressed with my loss. They are still grown and refuse to entertain any thoughts of reverting back to childhood for me.
At least they have mercy on me and call regularly.
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