Crime Alert!

I am here to report a crime. Yes, a crime. This so called "sock monkey" is the culprit. Tell me you can look at this, this... creature and think it is cute and innocent after you hear about his dastardly deeds.

I made a quick trip home for lunch today. It is a long way to drive, but I had forgotten something at home, so I dashed home to get it. When I opened the door to the house you will not believe what I found. Feathers were all over the house. The Hayes' Cockatiel, Joey, was sitting on top of the luxury vacay condo and the Guinea Pig, Sqiurt was running around frantically trying to escape from the EVIL sock monkey who was riding on the back of my dog, Pixie. The sock monkey is pictured above.

I grabbed him off Pixie's back, well, I tried to yank him off, but it seems he (Evil Sock Monkey... for abbreviation, I will refer to him as ESM for the rest of the story.) had used the belt from my robe to lash himself tightly to Pixie's back. I finally got Pixie to stand still long enough to untie the knots. She was very relieved to be rid of ESM. She (Pixie) looked at me quite gratefully and licked my hand, then growled at the sock monkey. It seems that the sock monkey had been plotting evil against the Hayes' pets for weeks.

This is what I was able to discern from the pets. ESM's plan was initially foiled when the pets were removed from the Hayes' premisis and temporarily reolcated to my home. Apparently, ESM broke into our beautiful (ok...shabby) home and tried to get the pets. At first, Pixie thought he was cute and nice, like her dolphin. He (ESM) tricked her into letting him climb on her back. He then forced Pixie to take him into Jacob's room where he opened the cage where Squirt, the Guinea pig, stays. Squirt darted out of the cage fast, because he is afraid of sock monkeys and dogs (smart pig... smart!). Next, ESM forced Pixie to the living room where he opened the door of Joey's luxury vacay condo. Of course, Joey was shouting and whistling for Kim to help him, but Kim was sleeping like a log. ESM and Pixie chased the pets ALL over the house. Poor Joey was so upset that he lost most of his feathers. I guess I got there just in time to save them from ESM. I have locked ESM up in Joey's travel cage temporarily. I don't know exactly how to destroy a sock monkey. My greatest fear is that he cannot be destroyed. He has an evil mind and evil minds are not easy to destroy!

I hope this story proves to all of you who have doubted me when I told you not to trust sock monkeys. I think some of you may think I made this story up. I just hope you never come home to witness such a horrific scene. It took several hours, but I finally calmed the pets down enough to eat. At first when we tried to get Squirt to eat his pepper, he would only whimper. Finally, he decided he could eat a little snack, he is resting comfortably now.

Please, I beg of you, don't trust a sock monkey in your home. Especially, if you have pets!